30 for 30: Taraweeh Reflections Day 6
Okay, real quick, before starting today's reflection, can we talk about focus during the Taraweeh prayer? Today, I was sad after Taraweeh prayers because I was absent the whole time. I couldn't control my thoughts from drifting from one thing to another. Now and then, I would catch myself and listen closely to the recitation of the Imam and stay on track, but soon enough, I lose myself again in a stream of thoughts. After Salah, I just sat there wondering if my prayer was even accepted. So I was down from that. I'm still down from that; that's probably why I started today's reflection on it. It probably doesn't help that I don't know how to read the Quran fully yet. So, following along is truly a concept.
For example, why am I thinking about work during my Salah? Why am I thinking about how I've been falling behind in my relationships during my Salah? I know that true fulfillment doesn't lie in worldly/human achievements but in the richness of one's spiritual life, so why am I so distracted in my spiritual solitude by these worldly things?
I wonder if the key to maintaining focus during Taraweeh, and indeed in all forms of worship, is not fighting the drift of thoughts but gently steering them back to the present. It could be about recognizing that the human mind wanders, and that's natural. Maybe within that constant practice of returning my mind to the present lies the beauty and sincerity of our worship. Allah knows best; He is Ar-Rahman.
So maybe none of this is actually about achieving a state of perfect focus, rather about striving towards it. Perhaps it could be about resilience in redirecting our attention to Allah, no matter how many times it strays.
Moreover, my struggles with focus are not limited to Taraweeh prayers. In the same way, I struggle to bring my attention back to the recitation; I often find myself caught up in Dunya's distractions. This leaves me wondering if, rather than beating myself up anytime I feel like I'm lacking, I can find beauty in the struggle of bringing my focus back to where it needs to be.
May this Ramadan be a time of growth in our ability to focus during prayer and our broader spiritual journeys. May we find solace in the effort, beauty in the struggle, and divine guidance in every step of our return. Ameen.
