30 for 30: Taraweeh Reflections Day 3
Day 3? It's only my 3rd day out here, I don't know. If you got that, you got it.
Today was all over the place. I was up late last night writing Day 2, so I woke up a bit later than usual for work today. My routine was a little off. I got up and ready for work and rushed out of the house around 10:30 a.m. As I go to the train station on 127th and 8th St. Nicholas, someone bumps into me, stares me down, and walks away. I was listening to the Quran, recited by my favorite reciter, Sheikh Noreen Mohamed Siddiq (May Allah be pleased with him), surah Al-Baqarah. As I watched them walk away, I thought, you're not going to get me out of my focus/zen right now, so I just smiled and made my way down to the train.
I jumped on the downtown A express train and found an open seat to my left, so I sat down. Sitting right across from me was this individual who kept staring at me; I got self-conscious and thought there was something on my face. So, I faked pulling out the phone and flipped the camera to selfie mode. I looked like my mom would be proud of me, so now I need clarification about what they're staring at. I focus on listening to the recitation because Sheikh Noreen is going off. But still, they're mean mugging me. I'm thinking to myself, what's going on? But just like the earlier person who bumped me, I ignored them and focused on myself.
Finally, I reached my stop and jumped off the train because it was getting a little too weird for me. I walked down 15th street, making my way to the office, and after a brisk walk, I made it to the front door and then realized I had left my badge at home. I'm slightly annoyed because it's one thing after another today. But Sheikh Noreen was in my ears talking that talk, so I swiftly changed that energy to solutions and made my way down to reception to get a Temp badge. I locked in at work, jumped into my 1001 meetings, and got what I needed to get done so I could quickly head home to prepare for iftar prep at the masjid.
I eventually made it home, changed, and headed to the masjid. We got things ready and prepared for iftar. Everything was running smoothly, and then, as Magjrib came in and we started passing out food to everyone, this one uncle made it his mission to give us a hard time while we served. Yesterday, he called one of us difficult because we wouldn't give him a second plate of food; about 30+ people lined up waiting for food while he was coming back for seconds. Today, he dropped a water bottle into the trash instead of recycling it, so one of us asked him to move it to recycling. Instead, he stared at him, called him disrespectful, and told him not to speak English. There was a back-and-forth. I played the peacemaker because we had work to do. I had to avoid giving this individual any power to take some Barakat away from the service we were doing for the sake of Allah.
As we continued serving people, I was reminded of this saying from the Quran:
"Do people think they will be left alone after saying 'We believe' without being put to the test? … But We have certainly tried those before them, and Allāh will surely make evident those who are truthful, and He will surely make evident the liars." [Qur’an, 29:2-3]
This really helped put my day in perspective for me. I've made all my intentions to be fully present during this Ramadan. I prayed to Allah to guide me, rid me of my bad habits, and help me be my best servant. But as Allah said in the Quran, all that is sweet, and I love that for you, but I will test you and ensure you're truthful. Day 3 was full of tests from Allah as he guided me to choose the path I'd asked him to guide me towards. Today, I learned we're all on our journey, and my journey should be my focus. Whenever people lash out at you or do something ill-intentioned unprovoked, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with what they're going through. I learned to choose the path I've asked from Allah each time when he tests me to make sure I'm locked in.
Day three was eventful but fruitful. I can't wait to see what tomorrow has in store.
