Today is the first day of Ramadan 2024; this year, I'm feeling less prepared than usual. Work and family have been hectic, and my physical health has also been wonky. Regardless, Ramadan presents an opportunity for a reset on all fronts. Every year, I say, "This Ramadan is coming at a wonderful time for me; I need this," this year is no different, except I haven't even had the time to have that reflection. Bref. This Ramadan comes at a beautiful time for me this year.

Day one is in the books, Al'hamdulilah for starting my fast and ending it in good health. We just ended Taraweeh 45 min ago, and it was really good. We had two imams who split the eight raka'at in half. In the first half, I struggled to stay focused, but the second half was much better because the imam had a captivating recitation voice that grabbed my attention. In sujood during the last raka'at, I called Allah to bring ease and clarity into my heart. As I talked to Allah, I realized I am helpless without Allah. Nothing I do, did, or will do is a direct result of me or some power I possess. All that I am is because he allows me to be.

I overestimate my control over my life. The reality is that I don't even decide if my heart beats or not, but I beat myself for not knowing what tomorrow will look like. I beat myself for not always knowing what to do with my life, as if I was in control.

Today, in that moment in sujood during the last raka'at on the first day of Ramadan 2024, The only artist capable of painting my life reminded me to live, do as He's instructed me, and leave the rest to Him. So, that's what I will do. Now, I need to find a way to constantly remind myself of this message as I navigate my day-to-day (Huge sidebar/mental reflection: something tells me He's already given me that constant reminder (Salah). That's what I think. I need to be more intentional when praying. I do. Is that the answer? I don't know. I'll sit more with that thought).

He's given me all that I need to be guided; my weakness lies in my need to try and paint my own life. And I'm learning that I don't have the facilities for that.

Anyway, this is just day one here. Feel free to share your own thoughts in the comments. I'll probably reflect and pray on this tonight. I look forward to what tomorrow brings (which I do not know yet), but I'll share it with you all.