Like clockwork, you can find me every Saturday in Troy, MI, playing basketball at LA Fitness. On any given Saturday, the gym is completely packed by 12:30 pm; players waiting to play are sitting on the sidelines. Music is bumping by the water fountain and few Spike Lee like individuals standing behind each baseline coaching and critiquing every play. On this specific Saturday, about a month ago, I was having a terrible day on the court. My shots were falling short, I could barely get by my defender, and was getting beat on defense every time.

After losing three straight games, I decided I had had enough and sat down on the bench by the door to watch the games. When I couldn't bare watching the bad games anymore, I began getting my things together to leave. As I was about to head for the door, a skinny young man walked into the gym and sat right next to me on the bench. He seemed eager to play and asked me who had next, I told him I wasn’t sure but there’s a lot of people ahead of him. His face saddened as he realized he probably wouldn’t play until the gym empties out.

Bummed out myself about my poor performance earlier I wasn’t in the mood to talk, but I tried to cheer him up by telling him to talk to someone who might let him play on their team.  I could tell he wasn’t too receptive to that idea as he quietly scanned the room. I started a conversation with him; asking him his name, age, and where he was from. He told me his name was Kebal*, that he’s 14, and from Detroit.

His complexion was quite dark—similar to mine—so I asked where his family was from. He said Sudan and that he lived in Sudan for some years. I was instantly intrigued—I share a similar background, being born in Harlem, USA and partly raised in the Ivory Coast. I asked him about school and his parents and he started to tell me about himself.

He currently lives with his aunt. He told me of his mom and his brothers, who still live in Sudan. A freshman in high school, he doesn’t care much for school. He expressed his fear of not being able to finish because he will soon have to quit school and start working to earn extra money to support his family in Sudan. He recently returned to the States after spending 4 years in Sudan and doesn’t speak English very well. This causes him to struggle to make friends at school. He currently lives in a community where they are no community centers, and no personal/professional development organizations around to promote social awareness, relationship skills, and self-awareness.

Listening to Kebal tell his story, I couldn't help but think of my own. I was looking and talking to a younger version of myself. For a minute, I really felt this "Blast From the Past" moment but was immediately forced into the present as some guys started arguing on the court about a call. I suggested we take a walk outside and began telling him how I shared a very similar story. I also lived with my aunt when I was 14 and didn’t think much of school because I thought I would ultimately quit to start working.

It wasn’t until someone showed me another way out that I realized there’s a lot more to this world that I did not know about. I found a mentor without knowing what it was, he made me realize that my situation doesn’t need to define me. For me, that person was Coach DC, My high school basketball coach. Coach DC  taught me how to catch a fish instead of giving me a fish, he brought me into his world and showed me there’s always a different outlook on life. Coach DC helped me build my confidence; he pointed me to the right people that helped me reach my goals in terms of career, he taught me discipline and was available when I needed someone to turn to. I told Kebal, I am the living proof that your current situation never has to define you. We exchanged contact information and now meet once a week to discuss things going on in our lives. My goal is to pay forward the lessons I learned from Coach DC in any way that I can.

That day I accidentally became a mentor, before that I never felt comfortable calling myself a mentor because I never understood what that meant and why a title was necessary. Now I see that adding a title brings accountability to make sure you do right. I realized the importance of being a mentor after hearing his story and remembering how Coach DC led me to see another way. “It takes a village to raise a child”, no one can do it by themselves. As change makers and influencers, we have the opportunity to help and be of service for young people. This Saturday on the basketball court, I inadvertently became the person I needed when I was younger because I saw myself within this young person.

If you are in a position to help and be of service to a young person, please find a way to give back and support them in any way you can. Some of us—especially in the minority community— grow up with limited exposure to personal/professional development programs and it’s very important that the few of us that possess the wisdom and experiences, share it with others.

*Name has been changed